New Beginnings

"Behold I will make ALL things new..." Jesus

In the depths of the winter...all is quiet. All is dormant...all is seemingly dead. We speak almost in hushed tones as we journey through it, knowing.

What is it that is happening in under the drifts of snow, and the freezing temperatures? All outward show of life is gone... Some of us are in the winters of our lives. All the green and vibrant life of Spring and Summer have passed away, we are left with deep browns and grays, chilly winds, and heavy weight of snow.

Will we survive it we ask? Will Spring truly come again?....We doubt, we wonder...we anguish.

And yet there is beauty in the dying, because we know...we know in the depths of our being that the dying is only the prerequisite to living! Oh how I ache to live!

As these last days of 2008 draw to a close, I am tucking away all that these months have held. The lessons, the pain, the refinement, the betrayals. I am forever changed by it all. I wouldn't change any of the struggle that my family has endured this year...because I know that in the death to so many things...life is waiting to spring up from somewhere beyond it. I tenderly reminisce over the joys, the laughter, the memories of so many precious and wonderful gifts woven graciously throughout the pain. What blessing!

I ponder the whole advent season that we have just finished...glorious yes. But I know that God intentionally obscured His "coming"....and He purposed it to be very small and almost hidden...for it wasn't the coming, or the birth that He desires us to lay hold of. He came not in pomp and circumstance to show His glory and be hailed as deliverer. Instead, He came....to die. And the glorious, and truly significant part that He beckons us to remember is that He did not evade death....He defeated death.

He went there. He endured the shame and pain of being betrayed by those who professed loudly and wholly their love for him. It's why he came. He walked through an unfair and circus of a trial...resulting in horrible mockery and merciless beating. It's why He came.

Finally, He willingly and knowingly submitted to agonizing and final death on a cross meant for a criminal. It's why He came.

Those who professed their love so ardently, were no where to be found. They had betrayed Him and hung Him out to dry. The only ones who faithfully stayed the course with Him...were His dear mother and a couple of His truest and most intimate friends. That's all. No throng of supporters, no family, no other "friends".... No, those "loved ones" had fed Him to the wolves. They participated in his crucifixion. But then again, it's why He came.

And as the darkness of the cave enveloped His body, as the depths of His "winter" fully settled over him... the sting was gone. Death had occurred...as agonizing, and unfair, and tormenting as it was....it was why He came. But the sting of death itself was gone.

He came to die. And yet.....He came, so that He could be resurrected out of death. And while it was a necessary part...the death was only a means to an end.

Hope springs up in my heart! The death that has been so agonizing in my heart, is only serving another purpose. It is ONLY a means to an end.

The end is Life.

I am reminded of the words of Jesus, "I came that you might have life and have it to the fullest."

Could it be that fullness is what awaits this dark, cold, lifeless winter?

I feel it. My soul trembles at the realization.

And so I pack away these last remnants of 2008, and I let them have their death.

It is indeed the season of new beginnings...not because I have resolved it to be so. No amount of goal setting or resolutions will achieve what my soul longs for.

But the Giver of Life does. And He does it well.

Thankfully, He doesn't "recycle" or "reinvent" the old....sprucing it up and doing a heavenly patch job on our lives.

No ......the death happens, the absolute end is necessary.

Then from the whispers of my very Spirit....come his words,

"Behold I make all things NEW"!

I wait, and I know.....these last days of winter are lingering....but my soul knows, and it beckons me...

"Be still....and KNOW."

Delicious Days of Joy

These days are filled with such joy! A special packaged arrived from our beloved grandmomma who lives tucked away in the mountains of Colorado! Our hearts long for her, miss her desperately! The package was not intended for Christmas, it was sent just because I love you! Inside were some new chef's outfits...in the perfect "signature" colors of my girls. Emily...always my "purple girl" as we call her....shrieked excitedly as she donned her apron and her chef's hat! Reaghan, always my pink princess...found hers and also tied it on, pausing a moment to pose in front of the mirror to examine just how adorable she must look! I smiled, grabbed my camera and of course seized the moment for capturing some sweet memories! How is it that grandmomma's know just what will ignite the hearts of their babies? She knows them sooooo well!!

Tender memories began to fill my mind....myself a tiny girl with long brown hair, pulling up a chair next to my momma in the kitchen! She had carefully found and woven together a set of recipes that would bless her own family, and unknowingly be handed down to generations after her! We would gather the bowls, the ingredients, and work together in the kitchen creating these delectable cookies and treats together. Her careful instruction, her sweet patience with my childish attempts at cookie making. I smile. Memories of a kitchen filled with the fragrance...of cookies, but mostly of love. Love that has blossomed into a beautiful friendship!

I look around my own modest kitchen. My girls delighting in their spoons, bowls, and myriads of cookie ingredients! So with tender heart I pull down a couple of the recipes passed down from my own momma. I read them over to my girls...telling them of my own memories of these exact recipes. And we embark on our own cookie making day! Laughter fills the room, tiny voices chattering with joy over kitchen tasks...memories flood in. Measuring, Mixing, Creating....and of course the stolen nibbles here and there! I am grateful today, for my momma....for her love...for her legacy! I see a little of her in each of my girls, and I know that one day, they will be creating these same cookies, in their own kitchens, filled with love....and a heart full of sweet, sweet memories!





(Photos: Cookie Making in Chef's Outfits)

Trust and Rest

Trust and rest when all around you
Puts your faith to stringent test;

Let no fear or foe confound you,
Wait for God and trust and rest.

Trust and rest with heart abiding,
Like a birdling in its nest,
Underneath His feathers hiding,
Fold your wings and trust and rest.

"Trust in him." (Psalm 37:5

Today, I trust; and in trusting....Lord, draw me into your rest.

*(excerpt from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowan....December 15)

Unexpected Gifts

The season of gifts. It swirls around us during this time....the thrill of the giving...the excitement of the receiving. Gifts are truly wonderful things!

Noah Webster, in his 1828 dictionary defines a "gift" as "anything given or bestowed...transferred from one person to another without compensation".

I reflect on the what it means to open a gift....to hold the wonderfully wrapped package in our hands, wondering....dreaming...of what could be inside. Something special...indeed. Something intended JUST for me, true. With trembling hands, we untie the lovely bow and tear through the patterned papers that conceal our treasure. Still unknowing...it's contents still a mystery.

Oftentimes, it is the anticipation, the unknowing, the trembling hands that make the gift such a joyful occasion. Certainly, the gift itself is a blessing...usually something we have been hoping for, or something personal from someone who loves us dearly. A token, really, from the heart of another bestowed directly into our own hearts. A transfer of affection, tenderness.....a gift.

And yet, gifts...in all their wonder...can also be unexpected bestowments. A deeply hidden gift in the midst of something not nearly as beautiful as glittering bows and brightly colored paper.

Is it possible that these gifts, these loving treasures can be found at the end of a very long "unwrapping"? An unwrapping that is laced with pain, struggle, anguish...and even betrayal?

It is in these difficult seasons of our lives...that some of the most life-changing gifts are bestowed deeply into our souls. Gifts that only the very breath of heaven could deliver.

These are the unexpected gifts. For we find our faces marred with the dirt of life, and smeared with the anguish of our pain. It doesn't seem like a gift...it seems hard, and difficult. It seems like it might even crush us beneath it's weight. The pain of an ended relationship, the struggle of devastated finances, even the betrayal of those we thought would never leave us.

Ours is the wrapping of the forsaken, of the broken.

There is no glamour here...no glittering bow. Just pain.

And then...as the "unwrapping" draws to a close...we begin to SEE! Our eyes get to peek beyond the wrappings...and glimpse a gift! How like the Kingdom of God to be so opposite and almost contradictory in it's nature. We know that in order to be the first, we must be the last. In order to be the greatest, we must be the servant. We know that to live, we must first die.

Therein lies the gift. In the journeying through our striving...we find the gift of Peace.

In walking through the fires of refinement, we find the treasure of Purity and in ourselves a Reflection of Him.

At the end of a long list of bills, and a shallow bank account....we rage, we struggle, then we find Contentment, Gratitude and even the gift of Simplicity.

In enduring the yoke of heavy, difficult burdens, we find HIS yoke...that is Rest.

And in the ashes of devastation, the aftermath of being betrayed by those we held so dear... comes a double gift. First the gift of Freedom! The release to fully embrace the next gift, which is the gift of Himself. Drawing us in, holding us close, and whispering...."My Beloved,I will NEVER leave you, and will never, ever forsake you."

And in receiving HIS gifts.....we smile. For we then give the most precious gift back to the Giver.

John Bunyan calls it the "Acceptable Sacrifice, The Excellency of a Broken Heart".

"For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering. My sacrifice, the sacrifice acceptable to God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart...such, O God, You will not despise."

Psalm 51:16-17

(amplified)