Unexpected Gifts

The season of gifts. It swirls around us during this time....the thrill of the giving...the excitement of the receiving. Gifts are truly wonderful things!

Noah Webster, in his 1828 dictionary defines a "gift" as "anything given or bestowed...transferred from one person to another without compensation".

I reflect on the what it means to open a gift....to hold the wonderfully wrapped package in our hands, wondering....dreaming...of what could be inside. Something special...indeed. Something intended JUST for me, true. With trembling hands, we untie the lovely bow and tear through the patterned papers that conceal our treasure. Still unknowing...it's contents still a mystery.

Oftentimes, it is the anticipation, the unknowing, the trembling hands that make the gift such a joyful occasion. Certainly, the gift itself is a blessing...usually something we have been hoping for, or something personal from someone who loves us dearly. A token, really, from the heart of another bestowed directly into our own hearts. A transfer of affection, tenderness.....a gift.

And yet, gifts...in all their wonder...can also be unexpected bestowments. A deeply hidden gift in the midst of something not nearly as beautiful as glittering bows and brightly colored paper.

Is it possible that these gifts, these loving treasures can be found at the end of a very long "unwrapping"? An unwrapping that is laced with pain, struggle, anguish...and even betrayal?

It is in these difficult seasons of our lives...that some of the most life-changing gifts are bestowed deeply into our souls. Gifts that only the very breath of heaven could deliver.

These are the unexpected gifts. For we find our faces marred with the dirt of life, and smeared with the anguish of our pain. It doesn't seem like a gift...it seems hard, and difficult. It seems like it might even crush us beneath it's weight. The pain of an ended relationship, the struggle of devastated finances, even the betrayal of those we thought would never leave us.

Ours is the wrapping of the forsaken, of the broken.

There is no glamour here...no glittering bow. Just pain.

And then...as the "unwrapping" draws to a close...we begin to SEE! Our eyes get to peek beyond the wrappings...and glimpse a gift! How like the Kingdom of God to be so opposite and almost contradictory in it's nature. We know that in order to be the first, we must be the last. In order to be the greatest, we must be the servant. We know that to live, we must first die.

Therein lies the gift. In the journeying through our striving...we find the gift of Peace.

In walking through the fires of refinement, we find the treasure of Purity and in ourselves a Reflection of Him.

At the end of a long list of bills, and a shallow bank account....we rage, we struggle, then we find Contentment, Gratitude and even the gift of Simplicity.

In enduring the yoke of heavy, difficult burdens, we find HIS yoke...that is Rest.

And in the ashes of devastation, the aftermath of being betrayed by those we held so dear... comes a double gift. First the gift of Freedom! The release to fully embrace the next gift, which is the gift of Himself. Drawing us in, holding us close, and whispering...."My Beloved,I will NEVER leave you, and will never, ever forsake you."

And in receiving HIS gifts.....we smile. For we then give the most precious gift back to the Giver.

John Bunyan calls it the "Acceptable Sacrifice, The Excellency of a Broken Heart".

"For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering. My sacrifice, the sacrifice acceptable to God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart...such, O God, You will not despise."

Psalm 51:16-17

(amplified)

Most Precious Gift

A life changing experience, this 1000 Gifts. I had always thought of myself as a grateful one; one who offered praise and thanksgiving for the blessings in my life. But in numbering a small notebook from one to one thousand….I was struck with how very little I actually GIVE thanks.

Of course I think it, and over the years I have enjoyed aesthetically pleasing things…almost as a celebration of spirit. But to actually pause, to record, to pen my gratitude to the Giver…is changing me on a level I cannot explain.

I have noticed that the area of most change is toward my precious husband. As a young bride, I was steeped in Cinderella syndrome, searching and expecting my “happily ever after”….and sadly, have lived much of my married life in pursuit of the ever elusive dream, focusing and pressing toward unrealistic perfections and romance.

I have read recently, that if you will only open your eyes, you will see right in front of you that very thing which you have always been desiring and pursuing. You already have it…it is only a matter of seeing it.

You already have it….

I wonder…what would happen if I had a list of 1000 Gifts, that held only those things that pertained to my dear husband…what would my marriage look like after recording those 1000 gifts? Those fingerprints of my Father found wrapped up in the heart of my husband, in his life, his fatherhood, his faithfulness…

Already so much of my gratitude journal holds entries of him, and it is already transforming my heart and renewing my mind in my relationship to him….

My heart smiles as I think of all the years of laughter and joy, sorrow and tears that have weaved themselves into our marriage…what beauty, right in front of me.

~ skinny, blond haired boy of 15, whom I was instantly enamored with…

~ quiet, forbidden holding of my hand, during youth group concert…precious

~ tender evening of teenagers on a porch swing, as heart strings were tied in the heavenlies

~ years passed, now a grown up, beautiful man in army uniform, stealing my heart and my affections

~ an arranged date, a simple “knowing” that the search was over

~ man of strength and confidence,…so strong where I was so weak, so unsure and timid

~ faithful and committed in a difficult first few years of marriage, as I found my voice… loudly!

~ non-religious, deep man of faith, teaching me to question everything…showing me a bigger God than I had ever known.

~ a real and non-pretentious man, teaching me to think for myself… speak my mind

~ patient and tolerant as my “people pleasing” tried to force him to fit into my family

~ always supportive through my countless business and entrepreneurial dreams

~ self sacrificing heart, who walked away from a secure job, to pursue MY dreams in Colorado

~ Amazing provider, never too prideful to take the less than perfect jobs in order to provide.

~ Holding me, encouraging me through my tears when life got hard, and my faith was wavering

~ My rock, my strength in the delivery room…3 times.

~ Watching him hold these new souls, knowing instinctively how to love them, tend to them

~ Only he could evoke truly delightful belly laughs from our babies

~ Working into the night, sleep schedules upside down, all for us…

~ The manliest of men… handguns, police officer, firefighter, rescue, always the servant!

~ Tender letters through the years, speaking his heart of love with clumsy but beautiful words

~ Anniversary number 7, with rose petals on the floor spelling out , “I love you”

~ His head in my lap, begging for relief for yet another migraine

~ Beautiful father, loving his children as I have never seen.

~ Gentle heaving of his snores as he sleeps deeply, right beside me each night

~ His true and growing walk with the Father, that deepens with age

I am grateful for this man…for all that he is, for all that he is destined to be. He is truly my greatest gift…and I cannot imagine sharing this life with any other… It is my greatest joy to call myself his helpmeet.

My deepest prayer is that I would be worthy of such a man. And I look forward to filling pages and pages with my thoughts, my memories, my gratitude for such a precious gift.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast , it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Photos: Evergreen, CO Day at the Lake Fishing with Daddy