Delicious Days of Joy

These days are filled with such joy! A special packaged arrived from our beloved grandmomma who lives tucked away in the mountains of Colorado! Our hearts long for her, miss her desperately! The package was not intended for Christmas, it was sent just because I love you! Inside were some new chef's outfits...in the perfect "signature" colors of my girls. Emily...always my "purple girl" as we call her....shrieked excitedly as she donned her apron and her chef's hat! Reaghan, always my pink princess...found hers and also tied it on, pausing a moment to pose in front of the mirror to examine just how adorable she must look! I smiled, grabbed my camera and of course seized the moment for capturing some sweet memories! How is it that grandmomma's know just what will ignite the hearts of their babies? She knows them sooooo well!!

Tender memories began to fill my mind....myself a tiny girl with long brown hair, pulling up a chair next to my momma in the kitchen! She had carefully found and woven together a set of recipes that would bless her own family, and unknowingly be handed down to generations after her! We would gather the bowls, the ingredients, and work together in the kitchen creating these delectable cookies and treats together. Her careful instruction, her sweet patience with my childish attempts at cookie making. I smile. Memories of a kitchen filled with the fragrance...of cookies, but mostly of love. Love that has blossomed into a beautiful friendship!

I look around my own modest kitchen. My girls delighting in their spoons, bowls, and myriads of cookie ingredients! So with tender heart I pull down a couple of the recipes passed down from my own momma. I read them over to my girls...telling them of my own memories of these exact recipes. And we embark on our own cookie making day! Laughter fills the room, tiny voices chattering with joy over kitchen tasks...memories flood in. Measuring, Mixing, Creating....and of course the stolen nibbles here and there! I am grateful today, for my momma....for her love...for her legacy! I see a little of her in each of my girls, and I know that one day, they will be creating these same cookies, in their own kitchens, filled with love....and a heart full of sweet, sweet memories!





(Photos: Cookie Making in Chef's Outfits)

Trust and Rest

Trust and rest when all around you
Puts your faith to stringent test;

Let no fear or foe confound you,
Wait for God and trust and rest.

Trust and rest with heart abiding,
Like a birdling in its nest,
Underneath His feathers hiding,
Fold your wings and trust and rest.

"Trust in him." (Psalm 37:5

Today, I trust; and in trusting....Lord, draw me into your rest.

*(excerpt from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowan....December 15)

Unexpected Gifts

The season of gifts. It swirls around us during this time....the thrill of the giving...the excitement of the receiving. Gifts are truly wonderful things!

Noah Webster, in his 1828 dictionary defines a "gift" as "anything given or bestowed...transferred from one person to another without compensation".

I reflect on the what it means to open a gift....to hold the wonderfully wrapped package in our hands, wondering....dreaming...of what could be inside. Something special...indeed. Something intended JUST for me, true. With trembling hands, we untie the lovely bow and tear through the patterned papers that conceal our treasure. Still unknowing...it's contents still a mystery.

Oftentimes, it is the anticipation, the unknowing, the trembling hands that make the gift such a joyful occasion. Certainly, the gift itself is a blessing...usually something we have been hoping for, or something personal from someone who loves us dearly. A token, really, from the heart of another bestowed directly into our own hearts. A transfer of affection, tenderness.....a gift.

And yet, gifts...in all their wonder...can also be unexpected bestowments. A deeply hidden gift in the midst of something not nearly as beautiful as glittering bows and brightly colored paper.

Is it possible that these gifts, these loving treasures can be found at the end of a very long "unwrapping"? An unwrapping that is laced with pain, struggle, anguish...and even betrayal?

It is in these difficult seasons of our lives...that some of the most life-changing gifts are bestowed deeply into our souls. Gifts that only the very breath of heaven could deliver.

These are the unexpected gifts. For we find our faces marred with the dirt of life, and smeared with the anguish of our pain. It doesn't seem like a gift...it seems hard, and difficult. It seems like it might even crush us beneath it's weight. The pain of an ended relationship, the struggle of devastated finances, even the betrayal of those we thought would never leave us.

Ours is the wrapping of the forsaken, of the broken.

There is no glamour here...no glittering bow. Just pain.

And then...as the "unwrapping" draws to a close...we begin to SEE! Our eyes get to peek beyond the wrappings...and glimpse a gift! How like the Kingdom of God to be so opposite and almost contradictory in it's nature. We know that in order to be the first, we must be the last. In order to be the greatest, we must be the servant. We know that to live, we must first die.

Therein lies the gift. In the journeying through our striving...we find the gift of Peace.

In walking through the fires of refinement, we find the treasure of Purity and in ourselves a Reflection of Him.

At the end of a long list of bills, and a shallow bank account....we rage, we struggle, then we find Contentment, Gratitude and even the gift of Simplicity.

In enduring the yoke of heavy, difficult burdens, we find HIS yoke...that is Rest.

And in the ashes of devastation, the aftermath of being betrayed by those we held so dear... comes a double gift. First the gift of Freedom! The release to fully embrace the next gift, which is the gift of Himself. Drawing us in, holding us close, and whispering...."My Beloved,I will NEVER leave you, and will never, ever forsake you."

And in receiving HIS gifts.....we smile. For we then give the most precious gift back to the Giver.

John Bunyan calls it the "Acceptable Sacrifice, The Excellency of a Broken Heart".

"For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering. My sacrifice, the sacrifice acceptable to God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart...such, O God, You will not despise."

Psalm 51:16-17

(amplified)

Altered Horizons

"Every time we pray our horizon is altered, our attitude to things is altered, not sometimes but every time, and the amazing thing is that we don't pray more."

Oswald Chambers

Lord, that you would draw me into your innermost dwelling place, that my faulty sight would be divinely altered to see as you see....and to rest continually in prayer.

Photo: Sunset in my neighborhood

Most Precious Gift

A life changing experience, this 1000 Gifts. I had always thought of myself as a grateful one; one who offered praise and thanksgiving for the blessings in my life. But in numbering a small notebook from one to one thousand….I was struck with how very little I actually GIVE thanks.

Of course I think it, and over the years I have enjoyed aesthetically pleasing things…almost as a celebration of spirit. But to actually pause, to record, to pen my gratitude to the Giver…is changing me on a level I cannot explain.

I have noticed that the area of most change is toward my precious husband. As a young bride, I was steeped in Cinderella syndrome, searching and expecting my “happily ever after”….and sadly, have lived much of my married life in pursuit of the ever elusive dream, focusing and pressing toward unrealistic perfections and romance.

I have read recently, that if you will only open your eyes, you will see right in front of you that very thing which you have always been desiring and pursuing. You already have it…it is only a matter of seeing it.

You already have it….

I wonder…what would happen if I had a list of 1000 Gifts, that held only those things that pertained to my dear husband…what would my marriage look like after recording those 1000 gifts? Those fingerprints of my Father found wrapped up in the heart of my husband, in his life, his fatherhood, his faithfulness…

Already so much of my gratitude journal holds entries of him, and it is already transforming my heart and renewing my mind in my relationship to him….

My heart smiles as I think of all the years of laughter and joy, sorrow and tears that have weaved themselves into our marriage…what beauty, right in front of me.

~ skinny, blond haired boy of 15, whom I was instantly enamored with…

~ quiet, forbidden holding of my hand, during youth group concert…precious

~ tender evening of teenagers on a porch swing, as heart strings were tied in the heavenlies

~ years passed, now a grown up, beautiful man in army uniform, stealing my heart and my affections

~ an arranged date, a simple “knowing” that the search was over

~ man of strength and confidence,…so strong where I was so weak, so unsure and timid

~ faithful and committed in a difficult first few years of marriage, as I found my voice… loudly!

~ non-religious, deep man of faith, teaching me to question everything…showing me a bigger God than I had ever known.

~ a real and non-pretentious man, teaching me to think for myself… speak my mind

~ patient and tolerant as my “people pleasing” tried to force him to fit into my family

~ always supportive through my countless business and entrepreneurial dreams

~ self sacrificing heart, who walked away from a secure job, to pursue MY dreams in Colorado

~ Amazing provider, never too prideful to take the less than perfect jobs in order to provide.

~ Holding me, encouraging me through my tears when life got hard, and my faith was wavering

~ My rock, my strength in the delivery room…3 times.

~ Watching him hold these new souls, knowing instinctively how to love them, tend to them

~ Only he could evoke truly delightful belly laughs from our babies

~ Working into the night, sleep schedules upside down, all for us…

~ The manliest of men… handguns, police officer, firefighter, rescue, always the servant!

~ Tender letters through the years, speaking his heart of love with clumsy but beautiful words

~ Anniversary number 7, with rose petals on the floor spelling out , “I love you”

~ His head in my lap, begging for relief for yet another migraine

~ Beautiful father, loving his children as I have never seen.

~ Gentle heaving of his snores as he sleeps deeply, right beside me each night

~ His true and growing walk with the Father, that deepens with age

I am grateful for this man…for all that he is, for all that he is destined to be. He is truly my greatest gift…and I cannot imagine sharing this life with any other… It is my greatest joy to call myself his helpmeet.

My deepest prayer is that I would be worthy of such a man. And I look forward to filling pages and pages with my thoughts, my memories, my gratitude for such a precious gift.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast , it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Photos: Evergreen, CO Day at the Lake Fishing with Daddy

My Soul Finds Rest

"My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
He alone
is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."
Psalm 62:1-2

O that I may know His rest today...when winds blow, and waves crash...may I remember that in His Presence is my peace. Rest O my soul...rest.

Photo: Waterfall at Fort Worth Botanic Gardens with Grandaddy

Moved to Compassion

There is much I am pondering on this “Black Friday”…busiest shopping day of the year. I have always been one to rise while it is still dark, list in hand, the thrill of hitting the stores early to get all the best “stuff”. Strange adrenalin surging through my body, propelling me, driving me…feeling the thrill of power shopping as if I were accomplishing some great and wonderful feat!

Then a few years ago, God’s Spirit took us into a new direction. A strange, uncharted and fiercely unpopular direction…into Simplicity.

In the slowing and in the quiet, He worked on the inner chambers of our hearts, bringing freedom where certain bondage of busyness had reigned supreme. What He revealed there in the darkest recesses of our souls was nauseatingly painful.

As He began to touch and refashion even our most basic traditions and celebrations, I found myself struggling against Him…until somewhere along the way, freedom came and I began to release my grip on those holiday traditions that I had held so dear…and began to see it all through His eyes.

Only this year have my eyes begun to truly see though, to turn from “us”, from this little family, and our celebrations, our needs, our memories…as He has begun to turn my gaze outward.

Being raised in church, I have always known of missions and ministry. And yet, it has almost been as though I have become so accustomed to hearing it, that it had a vaccine type effect on my heart. Put into a “world need” compartment that really didn’t touch me or my family…except for the check written from time to time, or a bit of money dropped into an offering bucket. Then going on with my life, never giving it much more thought.

And yet, as my gaze is being shifted, and focused outwardly…it is reaching beyond these walls, these lives, and it is beginning to rest on a world outside my own; I am humbled.

I am compelled from an inner place to pour out my life. This cup of mine that gets filled in the quiet hours of the morning, in busy days of homeschooling my children and tending to my home, I am filled. Blessed beyond measure, and yet feeding on that blessing almost as sustenance, instead of seeing those blessings as something to be poured out into the lives of others. Poured into the lives of my children…sure. Into the life of my husband…without a doubt. But what of the small child in Africa that waits to die, while a vulture waits quietly in his shadow. What of him?

The quiet words of Jesus speak to my Spirit in this early hour…as He divides the sheep from the goats and then addresses the sheep on His right….

“…Come you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom
prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave
me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a
stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick
and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me….I tell you
the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you
did for me.” Matthew 25:34-40

Oh how I long to inherit the kingdom, to lay hold of the inheritance that was prepared for me since the creation of the world. And I pray that my heart would break wide open for the least of these. That God’s Spirit would consume me with His compassion…

I ask the hard questions to my own self this morning…am I His sheep? Or will I be one of the shocked ones…thinking myself righteous and true…only to find out that I was really... a goat?

I humbly insert this link to Advent Conspiracy, praying that it will impact those of you reading these words as deeply as it has our family.

I am grateful to Ann’s beautiful blog, and for introducing me to Advent Conspiracy as well as the wonderful ministries and easy to use catalogs that allow our family to pour out our blessings this year in a simple and inspired way.

Harvest of Hope

World Vision Gift Catalogue

Gospel for Asia Gift Catalogue

Samaritan's Purse Gift Catalogue